kirschtein-be-bitchin:

buffbon:

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain, and a hundred percent reason to remember the name

American action movies be like

sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.

When contemplating a $15.00 purchase
10-year-old me: Wow idk that's a lot of money
15-year-old me: Kickass, that's so cheap
20-year-old me: Wow idk that's a lot of money

pzzaplease:

juodaanviinaa:

fuzzypigs:

claybabay:

NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE

NEED COLLEGE FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR MONEY

WAHT

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM

NEED EXPERIENCE FOR JOB

NEED JOB TO GET EXPERIENCE

NEED CAR FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR CAR

90% of my anxiety in a text post

mishakoalins:

A default ring tone is heard. 100 moms look at their purses.

novelteathought:

strivingking:

When you’re feeling down and out, REAL friends be like

image

okay but the guy in blue gets up and hold onto the back of the red guys shirt like a small child or perhaps a duckling

5ludge:

I was on 8tracks looking for new playlists and found thisimage

andimage

I really don’t know what I expected.

ORLANDO BLOOM PUNCHED JUSTIN BIEBER IN THE FACE

winchestersaints:

johnthreecontinents:

johnthreecontinents:

ORLANDO BLOOM PUNCHED JUSTIN BIEBER IN THE FACE

ORLANDO BLOOM PUNCHED JUSTIN BIEBER IN THE FACE

  1. ORLANDO BLOOM PunCHED KJUSTIN BIEBER IN THE FCACE
  • ORLAND O
  • BLOOM
  • PUNCHESDD
  • JUSTIN
  • BIEBER
  • …………………………
  • IN THE FUCKING FACE

watch orlando bloom punch justin bieber in the face

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